I'm Back

WOW. So I feel like I just got back off a food relapse. It's been about 11 days since I've logged anything or been to the gym. I'm not sure what happened. After my last blog of disbelief, I guess I need something I could believe, so I went and ate whatever I wanted and didn't log any of it, or go to the gym. My trainer has broken his ankle, and that really hit me hard. He was definately an answer to my prayers and as of right now, he's out of the picture. We still talk on the phone and he offers his encouragement, he's really disappointed that I've allowed myself to slip so badly, but he keeps postively encouraging me. He's so awesome, we just click. At this point, we're friends ya know? In the beginning, he'd call me and tell me to get out of bed and go for my walk, haha. Maybe it's the coming of fall. I miss my daily walks with God. Where I'd get out and walk in silence and talk to God about my goals and pray for his guidence and strength. Maybe it had something to do with school starting the end of September. Seems like every hour I'm awake I need to be doing something. Then I think, but this is MY HEALTH!!! Shouldn't the be a freaking priority!!! IT should! This is a lifelong things, one day I'm going to have kids and a husband on top of working full time and probably always pursuing some kind of education (I love to learn and grow) and what about then? I have to continue to make time for this. I know it's a process, I've learned somethings these last couple weeks, and I've decided to keep the lesson's and the love and keep pushing forward. I've let go of regret and kicking myself in the ass. I got on the scale at work at it read 292.4. There is about a pound difference between that scale and the one at the gym, so I'm thinking I've gained about a lb, and for everything I've eaten, and doing nothing for the last 2 weeks, I'm pretty grateful that is all.

As of right now, I'm so grateful that I've logged my breakfast already. I feel God's strength, and I'm back. It's also big release to write this stuff out here. Because this is hard. There are so many of us here that are trying, and we need each other. I was really touched by all the comments on my last blog and I wanted to say Thank You. It's offically one o'clock, time to hop in the shower for work. Thank you God SOOOO MUCH for me having that feeling of "being back in business" I pray today I make healthy choices and loose weight., OH and stay sober :P....

Love & Light

Dottie