My mind is finally beginning to catch up to the physical changes my body has taken on. Looking at myself in the mirror, in pictures, or catching glimpses of myself as I walk by a window I'm always a little bit surprised and usually say something along the lines of wow, I'm getting tiny. I'm not surprised as much anymore. There is periodic fear of I have this now, I don't want to loose it. However, I aknowledge I'm feeling it, but don't focus on it. As I was leaving the resturarnt I thought about how much easier it is for me to leave food now. I'ts not EASY persay, but it's doable. There was a time where I would eat myself sick because I couldn't leave food on my plate, and now all though it takes me a few bites after I decide I'm full I can put that fork down. I think of the times I overeat, which lead to an entirely different set of circumstances of which I'm not ready to share.
What a miracle. There was a day when I felt absolutely compelled to finish every bite. The Yoga of Eating book is changing my life. By simply making a concious decision to watch and feel how I eat.... it has changed. I didn't try to change it, it just did. I didn't judge myself at all about the way I ate, I just watched myself eat. It's beautiful. My desire to share this with others is strong, but almost as if telling them is difficult. It just kind of naturally happens, and people really have a hard time wrapping thier heads around that. I reminded myself of the small steps I've taken thus far, of the progress I've made. Taking a breath and asking my body what it wants, what it needs. I remind myself sometimes, that I am in the smallest pant size I've been in sice I began wearing "woman" sizes.
I've been so distracted the entire time I've been writing this. So I'll just end with this. I'm so grateful for this journey. Where I've been, Where I'm at, and Where I'm going.... God please continue to help me get to my goal weight and shed this pain I've carried for hears while building healthy boundries
Namaste
Dottie
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