My Thoughts on Yesterday, I Ate Everything in Sight

So yesterday I ate everything I could get my hands on. I felt completely out of control, and had no desire to stop it. Within an hour I ate 3, yes 3, Klondike bars, a Whopper, and half a bag of guacamole chips.... actually less than that, in the time it took me to drive to work. I worked out yesterday, and ran tonight when I got home from work. I pour so much of my energy in to loosing weight and being healthier. I realize there is still some things I'm missing about why I'm doing this and what I'm doing. I was emotionally eating. Sometimes, I just get tired of dealing with another addiction. My eating hasn't been to great for the last week, which is probably why I gained 0.6 lbs. I didn't want to update that on my weigh in thing... but it was the truth. If I lie to myself what good is any of this going to do? I'm tired of being overweight, I am. I've never liked it, who does? I've always been real good at making people believe that I had no problems with my weight and it was just part of who I am. Even my best friend of 13 years argues with her mother about how much my weight really doesn't bother me, and her mother says of course it does... somewhere inside of her it bothers her. I'm treating my addiction to food like my alcoholism, and I'm applying the twelve steps. I just had a thought to write out my steps as a blog. I judge people all the time based on their weight. I look at them and think how disgusting they look, so if I do that.. then wouldn't I look at myself with the same thoughts? NO... because I'm in denial. I think my stomach is disgusting. The way it hangs... my biggest fear is having my belly hang below my twat and close to my knees, I don't want that. I'm crying right now... I CANNOT remember the last time I cried over my weight, if ever. Seems that denial of my obesity... ugh that word makes me shudder... has been lifted. I see it all now... God please give me strength to see, feel, and let go of these things which keep me overweight.... Thank you.