Still some anger... holding steady at -54 lbs
Not real sure where to start. I guess anywhere is good. There is still anger, although not as much. In yoga today I found myself struggling between pushing myself farther and staying within that "sweet discomfort." Last couple days I've been feeling that some of my anger is coming from denial. While it's healthy to have an attitude of my weight cannot hold me back from anything I want to do, it is also healthy to accept that RIGHT NOW there are some things I cannot do because of my weight., and that's also been the case in the past. I get so angry when anyone offers me props during yoga or modifications. Today the instructor gently laid a bolster in front of me making it available and said, "If you would like to use a bolster feel free to do so." I wanted to sling it across the room, then beat her with it when I came out of the pose. Acceptance. I've maintained a steady weightloss of 54 lbs for over 2 months now. I gently remind myself, it will come off in God's time, when I'm ready to deal with whatever is hiding under this part of my journey. However, this doesn't stop me from putting forth my effort! lol I'm so grateful to have not gained any weight throughout the holidays which was my goal. SO, anyways... back to my part, I'm back to logging everything I eat. I think what will help me the most is that completed log button at the bottom of the page when it says "If every day were like today..." It either gives me inspiration to do as I did THAT day, or not be so hard on myself because even on my "Bad" days, it's not as bad as I think it is. One day, or two for that matter, is not gonna make me stack back on 5 lbs... it's pretty much physically impossible.
So with that being said.... I still don't feel like I hit any core issues, whatever. I'm ready to start loosing again. My mind has caught up with my body now, and it's time to keep moving....
Love & Light
Dottie
